Turn it Off / You’re Mean / It’s How We Makes Le Monies

It seems like the only people who take serious issue with AdBlock are Boomers (people born from 1964-1982), or people that simply didn’t grow up with the Internet and personal computers. I’m not sure why this is, considering such people have had advertising thrown in their face halfway through their favorite television shows, every day of their lives. You’d think if any generation would embrace this beautiful browser extension, it’d be them. Instead, they complain about it the most and try and talk down to people who use it, as if they’re better and more enlightened than them. Because they can sit through commercials they’re not interested in. What saints these people are. Look out, Mother Teresa. Here come the football fans. Here to virtuously absorb corporate messaging to make a “difference”.


Instant Gratification

Contrary to popular belief, the world wide web didn’t become the next big communication mechanism because of the abundance of information on it. There’s plenty of information in libraries too. The main reason that the Internet became so popular, is because it was an easy way for people to escape the harassment of corporate marketing. The ease of access to this information was also a huge incentive. Companies eventually caught on however to the fact that the Internet was the hegemon it had become and subsequently started filling every inch of it with ads to make up for the death of traditional American consumption.

The problem is, while these naive companies may think they’re eventually going to buy all of the Internet and reduce us to marketing slavery again, they fail to understand our perseverance. They fail to realize that one is not entitled to money to keep their websites functional. They think that it costs nothing for your audience to bombard them with corporate messages. That if you really like their “product” so much, you oughtta be “grateful” they don’t charge you outright to use it.

When in actuality, it is the “content” producers that should be grateful that they get to sit on their asses and make a living off of our viewership, while the rest of us grind away with blood, sweat, and tears. They should feel privileged and the instant they start acting entitled and ungrateful is the moment they lose all credibility. Your audience doesn’t owe you a fucking thing. Communities are about the community, not your wallet. You wanna be able to pay the bills this month, here’s an idea: get a jobThat way, when you don’t make enough off of your precious ad revenue to keep the site going, it stays up anyway because you’re pumping actual money that you earned into it.

AdBlock is merely the Internet defending itself from corporate molestation. It exists so that the Internet doesn’t become the next TV. Remember that? Where you’d see like 11 minutes of something you like, and then four minutes of bullshit you didn’t give a frilly fuck for 99% of the time? One of the reasons us Millennials like this Internet thing so much is because there are no “commercials”, obligatory sales offerings, or anything gay, corporate-like, and hamfisted down our fucking throats constantly. Not only that but TV gave you what you wanted on their time. Us barbarians that use this evil Internet, on the other hand, can enjoy the content of our choosing at a moment’s notice, a concept that to Boomers just seems to border on the realm of the impossible.

Ya see, “back in the day”, if you “wanted” something, you had to “earn it”, (*gags self*) So to them, there really is no such thing as instant gratification. The very concept makes them giggle. Any time that happens for them, they just consider themselves lucky and privileged. “Aww, I could have waited.” Why?! What purpose does the wait serve, you masochists?!

Considering that we only live for a finite time, I’d say that the idea of patience being a “virtue” is so beyond tits-out retarded that I can’t do anything but snicker at the idea. Especially in moments when waitingis optional! By virtuously demanding that I use AdBlock, you’re asking me to give up precious seconds of my life for corporations don’t care about and you don’t care about. Corporations that probably lobby to fuck you and I over, and every other common man every day. But nevermind all that. Tell me about your moral superiority some more, please.

Fuckin’ degenerates.


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